Purely because i no longer have the means to support it financially, it is unfortunate really in as much as that it was my class that gave me the determination to get out of my hospital bed and back to my beloved training, probably the only reason that I got my arm and leg to move was by carrying out TSD techniques and sheer determination and stubbornness not to let my stupid brain get in my way, I just ignored the pain in my shoulder that had been strained by the lack of muscle to support my arm and got on with it, I saw the number of students decline after I got back there - i can't blame them for doing that, what inspiration is an old man that hobbles around, cant speak properly and hasn't got the capability to tie his own belt properly and cannot remember the moves to the basic patterns ?
well, they never saw the way in which I knew that my martial art training pulled me through it all and what I was really suffering was not physical pain, but distress in my head over what type of man I used to be and the old life that I had was gone forever (see the past entry with the light switch comparison) http://thedojang2013.blogspot.com/2013/10/when-life-turns-you-upside-down-all-you.html
So, I hear you say, what happened to perseverance and indomitable spirit ??
well I had them, and i think I have had to let them pass me by, That's not good is it ?
How can I teach, hand on heart, and instruct young students in the way, that really has turned out not to be the way ( there is the irony, my first blog had that as its title - the way and not the way !!) thedojang.blogspot.com well, perhaps that was destiny written for me ten years ago !
I really think that honesty and integrity are paramount when standing in front of the class - I would even be happy joining in with the beginners, as i was really starting over again, and it made me feel good by admitting that and letting them see that I was only human too, the Masters belt didn't make me superior to any person, no matter what.(looking at it, is that humility coming out in my writing I wonder ?)
Well, I now have a new future to plan for - let's see where that leads me !!
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